Datecover Magazine

Guaranteed a date ?!?

People are funny creatures.  If somebody gives you 1-week to do something, it’s going to take you 1-week to get it done.  Even if the project required but one hour worth of work, it is human tendency to get it done in the time allowed.

The only exception is when you are motivated and have something personal to lose like time, sleep, or money.  When you have something to lose i.e. you have “skin” in the game, people step up and make their own deadlines because they “have to” and “can’t afford to lose.”

You’ve probably heard the term, “Money makes the world go round.”  While that may be true, I venture to say while Money is important, it’s actually Deadlines that make the world go round.  Until you hold someone’s feet to the fire, or your own feet are held to the fire, people just won’t jump until they have to.

Dating is the same way.  People who are single often go months without a date.  When probed for a reason they always have an excuse.  Perhaps they can’t find the time to meet new people, or maybe they can’t find the perfect person to ask out!  You see, when you’re “looking” for a date, there is no timeline or skin in the game; nothing forcing you to step out of your shell and ask a stranger out.   Nothing ventured, nothing gained, and nothing lost.  Without something to lose or a deadline at hand, people will procrastinate till the cows come home and herein lays to reason why the singles remain dateless.

With this conundrum in mind, I, writer extraordinaire for the world renowned online dating website DateCover.com have devised a perfect strategy to always guarantee you a date.  Not only does this strategy give you a deadline, but it also puts some skin in the game.  The double whammy!

Go on the internet right now and pull up a calendar of events that may interest you. Perhaps it’s a sporting event, or maybe a concert, or even a show at the theater.  No matter how single you may be, find the event you like most then go ahead and buy two of the best tickets you can afford.

Now you have two tickets to a dated event that you’ve spent money on.  You have a deadline (the day of the show), and you’ve put skin in the game (the cost of the tickets).

The one person you can’t let down and the one person who you will never let lose is yourself.  Here comes the fun part:  What’s missing from this equation is a date!

With this little trick you’ll be surprised just how fast you’ll find the motivation to meet new people.  You’ll give people you wouldn’t normally talk to a second chance and perhaps find a diamond in the rough.  You’ll also find the motivation to be bold and ask a cute stranger out.  There are even online date features like Lets Date! on DateCover.com designed to give people like you a place to ask the world of females, “anybody interested in going on this date with me?”

Rest assured that everybody has a desire to be entertained thus making the odds of a return on your investment high.

With this simple trick, you literally can’t lose.  You’re going to find a date, and you’re going to be doing something you enjoy on this date.

For Pete's sake, proof read!

I’ve got to tell you: poor spelling, punctuation, grammar and writing etiquette in profiles make me cringe.  I understand that the world has changed since the brick cell phone of the 80’s and that running around with mega cool super age smart phones is the thing to do.  I also get that SMS text messaging has exploded to a point where many people text more than they talk.  All the understanding in the world however cannot justify seeing SMS speak and poor grammar in dating profiles!

Remember, your online dating profile is more than an introduction.  It is your social resume and is supposed to capture a glimpse of who you are on paper.  How are you supposed to land that date of your dreams without a killer resume to match?

Your words, spelling, punctuation and grammar need to stand out in just a few short paragraphs.  If ur typin lk tis all t time, sumtin mst be wrg w/ u!   Are you a person with one lung, half an arm and 3/5ths of a leg?  If not, why butcher your words and cut out consonants, vowels and syllables?

Make no mistake; a poor dating profile will net you zero results.  There are a handful of people who email me each month asking me to review their written profiles in hope I can elevate their personality on paper to the next level.   I’m usually happy to oblige.  On the flip side, if said person uses any SMS speak which happens in one out of every 4 requests,  I don’t even respond.  If you think SMS speak is a good reflection of your personality, I wish you luck.  If you don’t respect yourself enough to write in full sentences, why should I dignify your email with a response?

Look: I get that you want to come across as cool, hip, and in synch with pop culture technology.  We all do!  But do not use it to your detriment on something as important as your profile.

As an example, lets take something as simple as capitalization and see what impression you could be giving if used incorrectly:

Person A:  I help my crazy uncle jack off his horse every day.

Person B:  I help my crazy Uncle Jack off his horse every day

Would you rather be person A or person B?  The simple difference is Capitalization.

Take care of your online dating profile and read it over and over until you get it perfect.  A second opinion from a close friend of yours of the opposite sex is recommended too.

7 deadly sins

So you’ve joined an online dating website and you’re looking for a date.  I’m going to guess the dates you’re about to snag from your internet dating site of choice won’t be completely foreign to you, meaning you’ve been on a date before.  Here are a few rules to help you while you search for your perfect match online and offline.

1) Always Date Up and Never Down

Never ever under any circumstances settle for a woman you’re not attracted to or is “below” the standard you expect to date.  Always be reaching for the women you don’t think you’re good enough to date.  Of course, reaching may often end if failure, but reaching is also how the douche bag that everyone hates seems to land the women you want.  Remember, the hotter the women, the lonelier she is and the greater her need for connection.  Stick your hand out, see what happens.  Trust me, the woman of your dreams won’t be the person you’re not attracted to.

2) Don’t Pay For Every Date!

Chivalry is not dead; it’s just a little more fair these days.  Paying for everything all the time while it may feel good for a while it sets the tone for a very bad thing.  You don’t want to become a Sugar Daddy.  Whether she may mean to or not, a woman who never has to spend a dime on her man will start relying on you for your money and not your companionship or boyish good looks!  If she’s into you, she should show her appreciation by paying for you when she can as well.

3) Ask Her Out Once, and Only Once.

It drives me bananas to hear about all those guys who keep asking out the same girl over and over again.  Get a clue my man.  If you ask her out once and she says no, she means no.  Don’t be the creepy weird guy she tells all her friends about.  Don’t be that guy who won’t leave her alone.  It smacks of desperation! Asking the same woman out more than once will crush your reputation and destroy your leverage in the relationship should she every say yes.  For that matter, if she ever does say yes, it’ll probably be out of pity.  Don’t waste your confidence on a woman cannot enjoy the splendor that is you.

4) Don’t Let Her Use Sex as a Weapon

Men often think with the wrong head and it gets them into trouble.  Women on the other hand think with their Vagina’s and yet they seem to get what they want.  The difference is that women use the power of sex over men as a bargaining chip for them to do whatever they want.  Many women act bitchy rude, foolish, brazen and illogical whenever they want, and yet, they don’t have to pay the price for their actions because of the Sex trump card.  Women who offer sex to get out of trouble are the worst possible females, ever! Don’t let women act like a spoiled princess then “make it up to you” through sex.  Don’t let her use sex as a weapon!  Hold her to the same standard as a person that she would expect from you as a person.

5) Don’t Let Your Woman Get Bored.

Women have a very low tolerance for boredom.  This weeks fantasy could be next week’s re-run.  The key is to always keep your woman on her toes because this keeps her interested, and guessing.  Complacency is a curse many men catch in a relationship, don’t fall victim to it.  If you want her, you have to earn her and woo her constantly.  Show up unexpectedly, surprise her, give her gifts, and sometimes withdraw, cancel, and don’t give her praise.  Keep her interested.

6) Learn How To Be Great In The Sack

Face it, men and women are animals and we have sex for pleasure, frequently.  Women are emotional creatures and no matter how awesome you may be on the outside, if you don’t connect with her inside (if you know what I mean), the relationship won’t last.  A bad sex life is the number one reason women give as to why a relationship that appeared destined to be, failed.

7) Don’t Be a Door Mat

Just don’t.  Relationships are all about equality and control.  If you have no control and the scales are always tipped in her favor, how are you going to be happy? Being a doormat is also unattractive and the number one way for her to yank your chain and string you along as the back-up go-to guy when there’s nothing else better.  You deserve better.  Let some other poor shmuck be the Door Mat.

Dont make them mad

Maybe you’re one of those guys who are blessed with good looks, or maybe you’re like me. I don’t have a washboard 6 pack but can easily hide my medium beer gut. I still have a full head of hair too; it’s just a little thin. I’m not a genius billionaire, but I am pretty smart and make a solid living. By female standards, I’m a damn good catch! Thankfully, most of the women I’m interested in see that I am too.

Most guys out there are just like me. Are you? If you are, read on: while many guys who are like me are able to date, and date often, they have a hard time holding on to any of the women they catch. It took me years to realize that the problem isn’t with all the women out there I’ve dated and discarded (or been discarded); the problem is with me. The problem is what us dudes do to these women. Plan and simple, we keep screwing it up!

Here are a couple of things you guys can do to hold onto your woman and quit screwing up what you tried so hard to land in the first place. Pay attention – school is in session!

Lesson #1 – Be serious when you need to be serious
We’ve learned over the years that while bro’s are able to get over conflict quickly with little pain, women have an itchy finger stapled to the World War 3 button. No sane male likes war and so we avoid an angry woman on the war path like the plague! We hide, apologize when we don’t mean it, or worse, we use humor and try to alleviate a heated situation with a bad joke. If you care about your woman you need to learn that
sometimes it’s just better to be serious and fight it out.  Sometimes you bite the dog, sometimes the dog bites you but being serious and handling conflict head on is the only way to hold onto your woman.  Don’t be afraid to admit fault if you’re at fault. Remember, she’s fighting because she cares. If you avoid or don’t fight back, it means you don’t care about her.

Lesson #2 – Sharing is Caring
If there is anything I’ve learned in all my somber years of being single it’s that women need to feel you.  I don’t just mean making an emotional connection; I’m talking about that little voice in your head that helps you think. Women need to know what that voice is saying and more specifically, the impact she’s having on you. Maybe you’re thinking about how you’re nervous. Tell her. Maybe you’re thinking that she
is the most beautiful women you’ve ever been on a date with. Tell her. Maybe you’re thinking she’s really smart, perhaps smarter than you and that scares you. Tell her! Sharing is caring my friend, and if you care about her you’ll have to share to hold onto
her.

Lesson #3 – Don’t be a jackass in public.
When you’re out with your woman, give all of your attention to her no matter what is going on around you. You may think she won’t notice your subtle glances at the woman’s legs at the next table, or the side looks you’re giving the astute breasts of the mom you branded a M.I.L.F, but trust me, she will notice. Not even dark shaded Ray Bans can hide your wondering eye. Not paying attention to your woman makes her feel under appreciated, perhaps even ugly. Would you date a woman who made you feel like you weren’t good enough?

Lesson #4 – If her mouth moves listen to what comes out of it!
The cornerstone of every relationship is communication. Without effective communication there can be no progress or connection. Women are very talkative creatures and may use 20 words when 3 will do, but that’s not their fault. Women are wired differently to men in more ways than one. So, when her mouth moves, listen. Unless you can learn how to understand the point she is trying to make, you’ll never keep
her heart. Never assume what she means, listen to everything before you respond. If you respond before she’s made her point, you’re as good as dead.

Lesson #5 – Shut the hell up and live in the moment.
Women do not process emotion or even the world the same way men do. As men, we’re obsessed with fixing things and finding the most effective and efficient solution to any problem. Women on the other hand could care less about the solution or fixing things. As emotional creatures women need to process feelings by just talking, and crying, and talking again, and sometimes stamping their feet. Women can be irrational and they are within their right to be that way. While the emotional women might make little sense to you Man, just chill, shut the hell up and live in the moment – her moment. Pretty soon she’ll process her emotions and return back to the normal person you’ve grown to like. Stay the course, stay quiet and when she’s done your lady will have a new found appreciation for you – because you were there for her.

Don't date this guy

Women: read and learn.  Men: read, self analyze and change.

After years of working 3 hours a day and pretending be an online dating research savant the rest, I’ve learned a thing or two about undesirable men.  Undesirable Men are universal, hated equally by women from Oregon to Atlanta.  Undesirable profiles are similar too, so similar that I can group them into categories.

This article will show women a few things to keep an eye on while you’re dating at your liberty, or to be more specific, here are 7 types of online dating guys to avoid.

“Creepy Guy in the Corner”

Let’s face it – some guys are just creepy and not date worthy.  For any self respecting female who values herself (or her life) do not talk to any guy who looks like a pedophile or a serial rapist in his profile photo.  Your online dating profile is supposed to be a picture of you at your best, so matter how nice they may seem in their introductory email, they’re probably not that nice in person!  If you saw someone on a street corner dressed like a police officer, you’d assume they were a police man.  So, if you see someone online that looks like Jefferey Dahmer, what are you going to do?  Avoid at all costs!

“We Won’t Work Out”

I find these guys extremely annoying. The “Working out is high on my list of priorities” guys who also “go to the gym every day, bench press 250” and “frequently run triathlons.”  What the hell!  Just like the dude wearing the hat to cover something up, these guys are trying to compensate for something too.

“C-A-P-I-T-A-L Hill”

What’s up with the guys who write everything in C-A-P’S!?  It’s difficult to read anything in all Caps and for the guys who do it you can deduce that THEY DON’T HAVE THE EDUCATION OR INTELLECTUAL CAPACITY TO WRITE PROSE THE WAY THEIR TEACHERS IN SCHOOL ATTEMPTED TO TEACH THEM.

“What’s Under the Hood?”

If some guy is wearing a hat in every single one of his online dating photos, no matter how fashionable, something is up!  And it’s probably not the hairs on the back of his neck.  Guys who wear hats all the time are usually bald.  Being bald isn’t a bad thing.  After all, I think Bruce Willis is one of the yummiest men on the planet – but hiding your head is a bad thing and it says a lot about the person in the profile.  If the man on the other side is hiding the bold (and bald) fact that he’s bald, it probably means he’s insecure.  Insecurity is soooo NOT hot.

“Is That Even English?”

Communication is the cornerstone of every successful relationship, so imagine what it would be like to date someone who starts their profile with “I woman to meet I like am happy and your perfect match?”  The guy may walk, talk, and even look like Antonio Banderes, but clearly, he doesn’t speak English.  If you can’t understand their profile, how do you expect to have a relationship?  Relationships don’t come with a translator or subtitles.  Avoid dating people that don’t share your native tongue.

“I’m Captain Beautiful”

How big of a douche bag do you have to be to talk about how good looking you are in your own online dating profile?  Guys for some reason do this all the time.  They talk about how they were the most popular guy in High School and how all the women wanted to date them.  They talk about doing modeling on the side or that they’re a personal trainer, or that they’re putting their portfolio together.  Are you serious, dude?  Ladies, these guys are so full themselves and their looks that they have no time for you.  All you’re going from talking to these people is a guy who’s living in the past and a truck load of his insecurity to deal with!

“The Bum Jester”

The guys who make it a point to say “I’m the funniest man you’ll ever meet”, or that their “best quality in a relationship is making you laugh” probably aren’t that funny.  Sorry, but it’s true.  Men who are really funny don’t have to tell you they’re funny.